Quadrigastricamente

I miei genitori sono soci onorari e vitalizi dell’associazione Procreatori Distratti, alla quale consiglio tutti di iscriversi, tra l’altro. Devo chiamarli io per comunicare che va tutto bene e che, anche questo mese, sono riuscita a non farmi staccare un braccio da un carro armato e che nessuna nutria mi ha azzannato alla giugulare passandomi la leptospirosi.

Per questo motivo, l’altra sera, ho trovato quasi inspiegabile che ci abbiano invitato a cena.

“Venite, che papà ha preparato la trippa!”

Per evitare seccanti disavventure stile Novi Ligure, a pranzo ho preparato la mia pugliese metà all’evento, cucinando delle cotolette. Così, per sondare il terreno.

“Che bontà! Brava bimba!”

Perfetto, è il mio momento.

“La cucina regionale lombarda è veramente deliziosa, non credi?”
“Che cosa mi stai nascondendo?”
Merda Ehm, sono così contenta che andiamo dai miei stasera! Stai per assistere a un prodigio familiare tipico delle mie zone! Mio padre, quando era piccolo…”
MARTA!”
“La trippa”

La testa di Giacomo si trasforma in un enorme punto interrogativo.
E non è una bella immagine.

,  che cos’è ‘sta trippa?”

Cerco di non ridere, anche se è difficile rimanere seri davanti a uno con la testa deformata che parla come un’ambulanza.

Glielo dico? Non glielo dico? Posso forse spiegare a un discendente magnogreco che qui, nella pianura padana, si usa squartare un vitello e mangiarne lo stomaco con un buon contorno di fagioli? E’ forse consigliabile omettere certi particolari a un rampollo del popolo che vinse l’esercito Romano alle Forche Caudine? Vale la pena rischiare che dal suo DNA si risvegli la stessa cartaginese furia di Annibale nel momento in cui, dopo la terza cucchiaiata, sfiderà le leggi della termodinamica raggiungendo una temperatura corporea di ventiseimila gradi Kelvin che neanche Alfa Centauri?

Posso forse, in totale tranquillità, rendermi attrice di una ‘sì grave menzogna ai danni di un erede della dinastia Hohenstaufen? Chi l’avrebbe mai detto che i pugliesi discendessero dai tedeschi, tra l’altro?

No, non posso mentire.
La verità rende liberi.

“E’ un… particolare tipo di… interiora

TRIPPA

Alcune ore dopo, tutta la mia famiglia è in religioso silenzio. Anche mio fratello.
Questo episodio andrebbe segnato col suo sangue su qualche diario di famiglia.

Mi madre osserva, guardinga, i piatti ricolmi di frattaglie.
Mio padre, seduto come un étoile della Scala in sala trucco, trattiene il respiro.

Giacomo alza la forchetta a mezz’aria.
Assaggia.

“E’….”
L’attesa mi uccide.
“E’… buonissima!”

Mia madre si commuove istantaneamente e comincia a piangere a singhiozzi. Non vedevo una reazione del genere da quando, al liceo, ho portato a casa un 5 e mezzo in filosofia. Mio padre si accascia sulla sedia, tronfio, e proclama tutta la sua longobardia.

Ti te voeret anca un bicèr di Bonarda cun’t à la busèca?

Ecco, il solito esagerato.

Comments

  1. No ma vabbè!!!!

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  3. Credo che sia stata la parola Bonarda a farlo annuire soddisfatto. Mi sa che, in quel momento, tutto il resto ha perso di importanza :D

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